hell yes lets make some ravioli
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
