I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
