i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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