I just made out with a guy for $7.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize