and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
