I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
