i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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