she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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