2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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