Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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