I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
