there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
