Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
two words...techno handjob
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
