Pregnant stripper...not hot.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
