so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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