If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
