Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
please come you make the beer taste better
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
