My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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