hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
