Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
