Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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