I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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