Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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