she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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