I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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