Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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