You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
