he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
