I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Pooping to opera.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
