In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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