So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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