I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
