just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
