Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
