so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The beers last night were like the tears from god
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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