Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Vodka?
Forever.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
