When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
