I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Someone came in the potted fern
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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