hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
