bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Randomize
