the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We are all done wearing pants today
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
