doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
