eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
