is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
