The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
