I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Randomize
