He disabled his match.com account in front of me
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Randomize
