His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize