I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
