Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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