In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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