Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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