I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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