His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
