you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
