flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
