u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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