There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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